24 June 2012

Well, D-Day Has Come and Gone

The week leading up to his leaving was really tough. It's hard to have such an overwhelming date come up and not constantly be aware of this is the last time we'll do this, this is the last time we'll do that. I tried to just push it all aside and just enjoy the moments with him, but it was so hard. I can't count how many times a day he makes me laugh and it would just break my heart to realize that he wouldn't around to do that anymore. I tried to be strong for him. I don't want him to worry about me, but sometimes I think I failed.

More than anything in this last couple weeks I've realized how perfect he is for me. I knew this before, but when you're put in a situation like this it sheds a new light on things.

Family members were able to wait for a couple hours in the motor pool before they left, a blessing and a curse. Nothing is worse than anticipation. It's hard to enjoy your time together when such a crappy moment is about to come up. I've been dreading this day. I wanted to see him off, but I secretly didn't want to be there stuck in a motor pool for hours dwelling on him leaving. I didn't think I could handle it. I didn't want to break down in front of a bunch of people. 

But it wasn't like that at all. He wouldn't let it be like that. It's not in his personality. He made it so much easier for me, I think, without even knowing. It wasn't filled with tears. He made me smile. He talk-sang 'Call Me Maybe'. We played Angry Birds and talked like it was any other day. I enjoyed the time with him. It was exactly what I needed.

Hugging him for the last time (for a long time) was hard. Watching him drive off on the bus was the hardest thing I think I've ever done. Everything inside of me didn't want him to go. But if it has to be this way I'm glad he's gone because the quicker he leaves the quicker he comes back.

I'm ready to countdown the days until he comes home.

Baby, you are always in my heart.


  1. Aw, thinking of you. That is so tough. Glad you had some fun before he left though!

  2. My heart goes out to you! I remember feeling similarly before my hubby deployed (he was my boyfriend at the time). And I know I will feel that way again soon.

    Anyways, hang in there!


  3. Prayers go out to you Emma. I dropped my hubby off today for Ranger School, and in some ways I felt very similar to you. I know there's a d-day in our future, and it's comforting to have fellow milspouse bloggers from whose experiences I can learn. Thanks for sharing, and enjoy your time in Germany!

  4. You can do it! Hang in there and take it one day at a time <3 You're such a strong and admiring woman.