25 June 2012

Personal Growth

We are facing a deployment. My husband who has become my rock in this transition has left. It's going to be hard. I can't even fathom being apart for 9+ months. It scares me to no end. I know there is a time to grieve the loss of our time together, but I also know that there is a time to take control of my emotions.
My husband is at war. He is being shot at. That is not going to change. The scary reality is no matter how much I dwell on his safety I am not in control of that. The only thing I am in control of is how I handle myself. I want to take this time to improve. I want to become the best ME I can be for ME. I also want to be the wife that RC deserves.

I'm still adjusting to this military lifestyle. It's difficult uprooting and starting over. When you sacrifice for your spouse I think an identity crisis can occur. So often who you are can be defined by what you do (your occupation), who you associate with (friends), who you are a part of (family), and what your role is (wife). So when you leave those things behind in a move you can loss grasp of who YOU are. I want to find out who I am again. 

Every second of every day I will be thinking of him though. All I want is for him to come back to me. Safely. And if any of this sounds selfish, believe me, I would rather not have to take this personal journey this way.


  1. Emma, You are very brave and I am sure a great comfort to Ross. I love you, Mom

  2. Thinking of you two and hoping you come out of this stronger than ever! If you ever need to come over and drink wine with me all day and relax, dont hesitate!

  3. oh goodness, i am currently in a long distance relationship and i promise i will never moan again. your time apart is longer and way more difficult than mine and your outlook is amazing!! stay positive and keep blogging! i'll be thinking of you and you have definitely inspired me to be stronger xx